Why Not

Why not philander?

As a guy I am so tired of the same thing. I know her inside and out.

Whine and complain all day long. At least she has something to do.

Finding Someone

Finding someone is not as easy as it used to be.

I would gladly fuck around.
Life without sex is not fun.

Marriage is hell.
Why did I ever do this.

A Poem of What was life

Many things have happened . . .

none of the good . . .

they change a person . . .

i have changed.

When once i was full of dreams . . .

and passion . . .

and life . . .

and eagerness.

Now I see only darkness . . .

feel only pain . . .

and am so tired.

Tired of trying . . .

of trying . . .

of dreaming . . .

of being the person

Many come . . .

promising words . . .

hopeful expressions . . .

words of encouragement . . .

some want to fix the broken.

It is cold.

dark.

the head hurts.

the heart aches.

Deeply have i given . . .

nothing held back . . .

a piece is taken . . .

a chunk removed . . .

whittled away . . .

left to wither.

Till nothing is left . . .

a private hell . . .

a quite aching . . .

darkness covers what is left.

Is he still a person that once was . . .

the manners he holds . . .

the dignity that is shown . . .

the goodness that is done.

It remembers not so long ago . . .

full of hope . . .

full of promise . . .

full of life . . .

full of dreams . . .

full of strength.

To once again dance the dreams . . .

to dance for life . . .

to dance of hope.

yet here he is.

numb

broken

hurt

Why Should I not

I know this sounds bad.

I am ready to do it again. I know I promised. I am just so #)(%#() bored with man on top get it over with quick.

I am sick of being told I suck and that she wants someone badly, to take away her being lonely.

Hell what does she thing. I have been feeling that for years. Like twenty of them.

I may have found someone to play with. I mean maybe a regular fuck buddy.

Why Should I Stay

I always wonder, why should I not cheat?

I mean sex is dull and boring at home. I enjoy sex and cannot get the fun at home.

I really want to leave, but alas I am a coward.

Why Would I Cheat

I have to confess that part of the problem is that . . . I enjoyed cheating. Shagging a differing women with differing responses is fun.

Not to mention there are things that many will do that a nearly dead fish will not. I have done bondage, oral, kinky things and lots of fun. The good news is that I have never caught anything bad.

Cheating is a rush in and of itself. I mean it is a high that will make anyone scream.


But it is acceptance. I am not the person who my wife thinks I am.

To her I am the nice boy. the good (okay) Christian man. The former pastor, the Bible teacher. The guy who said adultery is wrong. And it is wrong. I would prefer not to do it. I wish sexual satisfaction would come from the home.

I am a Slut

I am a 79% slut. I am actually proud of this.

Why Write one Philandering

This is a good question. The bottom line is that, I like it. I have slept around so many times on my spouse that it is really bad.

So for those of you who think I am horrid. it is even worse.

At one point I was a church member. Not a small church that you can dismiss, but a strong conservative Evangelical Church.

Of course the next hard part is that I was a pastor.

I write this not because I have demons. I am writing this so people may understand what is behind this.

First Post

First Posting